End of Season Reflections (updated)

Update: Monday @3:30pm
I would like to offer an apology to anyone who has been wronged in reading this latest post from me. I wrote this directly after experiencing what took place at Regionals and thus the feelings and words used were more raw and unedited than if I were to have waited. That said, I stand by what I felt at the time and feel it both appropriate and necessary that I communicated to the team (I do not write this for anyone else besides us, regardless of the fact that other teams may occasionally visit our site).

24 hours later though, I feel a bit ashamed in what I said. I called people out who didn't deserve it (including other teams and players). I blamed others for what I was feeling, and pulled no punches. I complained and wined far more than being grateful. I allowed myself to be overwhelmed by such a small sequence of events that is otherwise completely eclipsed by an amazing season of brotherhood (and sisterhood). God was good to us. And I paid that back with slander and complaints...

Last week I watched my grandfather in the hospital struggle to stay alive. His physical health might have been in question, but there was no doubting the man knew who he was, what he had done in life, and what life was left he wanted to live it in joy and servanthood. I am humbled by his testimony through living his theology out on a hospital bed. I am humbled by those of you who have commented and see the beauty in this team. I am humbled and grateful that there are such wise souls on this team.

For the benefit of this team, and because I want to own what I said, I will leave my 'End of Season Reflections' on the end of this post... Your comments are still welcomed and encouraged.

ORIGINAL POST:
The North Park Lost Boys would end their season going 28-17 at 6 tournaments (including our X team at Whitesmoke XII). Our RRI (ranking according to the UPA website peaked just after Sectionals at 2507 and put us inside the top 50 teams in the country). This prestige is the highest ever achieved since the NPU team was formed in the spring of 2002. This was also the first spring season where the open team qualified for Regionals.

Like any season though, it was one of many ups and downs with drama taking place at nearly every turn. Leadership struggles, players quiting or not showing up for practice, and a more than disappointing finish at Regionals seem to put a black mark on an otherwise beautiful and sucessful season. What happened? Am I alone in my feeling so disappointed or are there others that feel this same way? Was there discontent existing that I and others in the leadership were just unaware of or worse, unwilling to address?

What happened to the brotherhood that culminated in the formalization of "The Lost Boys" earlier this spring? And what does it mean for the team this coming year? Where do we go from here? How do we regain trust for one another where trust has been lost? What issues are still lingering? And what should the leadership do and who is the new leadership going to be?

I hate to admit this, but I leave the season feeling I invested more in this team than I potentially should have. I and others feel cheated. By who or what is the question I wrestle with... The answer is somewhere between myself and others. I feel that I personally let the team down more than a couple times this season. I took on too much and let some details fall through the cracks. In calling lines, I know that I let more than a few players down who felt they either deserved more or less time. I know that I ran some practices too hard while at other times let them become flat and too relaxed. I bailed out of practice a couple times towards the end with reason maybe not fully explained to the team and at times when I really needed to be there. Also, I feel that the leadership let the team down at times. We didn't get things figured out quickly enough. We let issues in leadership linger and didn't even address some of the concerns from the team because they were too hard. But, I also feel that many on this team let me and their team-mates down by quiting either earlier this season or in the weeks leading up to the series (Sectionals & Regionals). This bailing out was often done with no word, no explanation, and no consequence. The team was left out to dry for reasons that were never expressed and it often gave the impression that the player quiting was doing so for selfish reasons.

What is the priority? The team or the individual? How much do we need to cater to each players needs and desires and how much does that need to stand behind the needs and desires of the team? If our mentality is that of a team who sees the UPA Series as the priority, what does that mean when we have such attrition before we even embark on the furthest stage we ever been to? What gives? What happened?

I'm left with so many questions and so many frustrations. At this point, I wish we could have ended the season with Sectionals and the high of nearly taking down Illinois. That was the best ultimate I've ever seen this team play. And even though it was a select few that got to actually take the field during this particular game, there was no way we would have gotten it as close as it was without the support and encouragement of each and every player that showed up on that sideline. Where did that feeling go when we got to Regionals? What happened to our positive play and encouragement? Did we become selfish? Did we become arrogant? Did we forget where we came from and how hard this game really is?

I hate that I cannot look past so disappointing a tournament experience that Regionals was, to remember the joy and love this team had before this last weekend. I want to and need to in order to again play for this team. At this point I have no desire what so ever to play college ultimate with the Lost Boys again. I have no desire to give up what I gave up in order to serve this team. I have no desire to put upon myself and others in the core group the amount of time and energy it takes to run such a team. I don't feel it worth it and I don't feel that we ended this season as a team. I don't know what happened, but something was lost in this Lost Boys team...

That said... All those disappointing thoughts aside... I still hear the echoes of something started by our beloved swede:

Vart vi än kommer
Får vi alltid frågan
Vilka vi är.
O vi svarar
Vi är Lost Boys
Världens Bästa Lag
O Heja heja Lost Boys
O heja heja North Park

O om dem inte hör oss
Så skriker vi lite högr